I have been encouraged to share with you my story on facilitating innerdance in Poland: In all honesty, facilitating in my native country wasn't something I had planned on doing at this time now. But, paradoxically, it turned out to be everything I really needed.
External circumstances and the death of my beloved Mother "forced" me to stay in Poland for a longer while. I hadn't lived here for nearly 5 years. I admit I was scared of the unknown. My life had shattered into pieces, and if it wasn't for innerdance I'd probably be popping pills in a doctor's office now, trying to escape the biggest sense of loss in my life. I realise I still have a long way to go in my own healing process but helping and supporting others is so beautifully fulfilling, and something I am here for. It gives me a sense of purpose.
And so I've become some sort of a "wounded healer". A paradox. People here call me the dream whisperer ;) I'm in absolute awe with how Polish people have become open to dive into their inner worlds, exposing themselves to transformation, often through confronting what is difficult and doesn't want to be looked at.
Collectively, Poland is a country of heart-based people who were wounded on a large scale, especially during both world wars, and the scars are still visible. We carry this trauma unconsciously in our DNA. Very often we feel not good enough, having to prove our worth. It has made many people bitter, forgetting the connection to their hearts.
Also, the Church in Poland is very influential, making people anxious at times when wanting to look for answers within themselves. However, before the Christianisation, the Polish had been practising Slavic Paganism, living in a close connection to nature, worshipping various gods and goddesses, one of them being the Mother (Earth). We used to be a highly spiritual nation.
So now I bow in front of every person that shows up for my innerdances. They heal me. I had felt so little, and yet they empower me big time. I enjoy their excitement when they say they couldn't wait for the next session, they seem to long for it. It's something they had never experienced before at any yoga or meditation gathering. They all reassure me lovingly that I'm doing something big:)
I initially started with one day per week. But even though the room is big, it wasn't big enough for the amount of people that was showing up. I had to limit the attendance to 20 people. I decided to facilitate twice a week. And this wasn't enough either. So here I am doing innerdances three days a week.
In my humble opinion, one of the more practical reasons why I get so many people who form permanent groups is because I charge little, so they can afford to come every week. There are some who come twice a week. Another reason might be that I manage somehow to create trust among the group. Whatever it is, it's authentic. I talk about my own process, my own weaknesses etc. so people can relate. I never regard myself as a teacher, as I'm not there to teach them anything. I'm just an enabler, a supporter. But it genuinely feels good to hear and feel how they value me. It's very empowering. I tend to belittle myself. The practice of facilitating so frequently has boosted my confidence significantly.
I only started facilitating id in Poland 6 weeks ago. I have held 17 sessions so far. 230 people have shown up to this date. And it's only the beginning. It's expanding really quickly. I almost feel as if I was living the Witch of Portobello (book by Paulo Coehlo) story ;) And the best part is that we form really intimate connections with each other based on trust and openness. Only yesterday there was a woman who had come to my session some time before but stopped coming for a while because innerdance made something difficult emerge from deep down. Yesterday for the very first time in her life she actually spoke up about it. She had been sexually abused as a small child, but even her parents don't know about it. Her very act of speaking up was healing. She did it only because she felt safe in the space. I've noticed that sitting in a circle after a session and sharing is as healing as a 90 minute inner journey itself.
There's so much happening during sessions here. One of the most common themes is energy of the mother. People actually work their issues, concerning their own mothers, through. They receive love they had never received as babies. They also learn to fully love themselves. Something I am working on myself too. There are insights on how good and healing it is to sit with your sadness and embrace it, instead of running away from it. Once it has the permission to show up it gets healed.
Innerdance is going through people's lives here with the strength of a tornado. They find courage to quit jobs they were stuck in, move their residence, finish relationships they've outgrown etc. There's a lot of change and we're all dancing in it together. Stillness is found in this seeming chaos. There are many "other-wordly" phenomena happening too. I'll maybe describe them in another post one day.
I have just finished my meeting with one woman who is absolutely in love with the process. She's a coach and she works with big corporations. She's keen on introducing innerdance to IKEA! Things just happen without me doing anything.
I will be facilitating id in Poland until September. After that I'll leave for Palawan, my second home, where I'm hoping to focus on my own healing process, come to terms with grief, and reunite with the ones I hold dear. After a few months there I will return to Europe to share innerdance with even more people, whilst traveling through Poland.
And so the journey unfolds... And so do I, flowing through it as authentically as I can, trying not to give in to resistance. I'm becoming innerdance.
Lots of love and gratitude to every single one of you who is part of this miracle sweeping through the planet 💕💚💞